A Little Detour DBZHarry Potter Crossover!
by sandkatkm34
Summary: This takes place after Harry leaves the graveyard in the 4th year. Our DBZ heroes go out looking for their last Dragon Ball and find it in the most unlikely of places…Tom Riddles’ grave? Find out what happens when DBZ meets Voldimort! R & R!


**Summary: **This takes place after Harry leaves the graveyard in the 4th year.  Our DBZ heroes go out looking for their last Dragon Ball and find it in the most unlikely of places…Tom Riddles' grave?? Find out what happens when DBZ meets Voldimort! R & R!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own the rights or anything to Harry Potter or Dragon Ball Z, but I don't think I need to make you think that I do. =]

**Rating**: PG-13 for cussing and sexual suggestion…and flat out telling you.  M/M love.

**A/n**: I am really bored, this is the outcome. I don't know how many Harry Potter and Dragon Ball Z fans there are out there in this world. But hopefully there are a few.  =D

**A Little Detour**

While the seven fighters [Goku, Vegeta, Gohan, Piccolo, Trunks, Krillen, and Goten] were all taking a night stroll for some shiny orange balls on some random part of their lovely little adopted planet earth, they discovered the last one in the middle of a cemetery next to a headstone that read "Tom Riddle".  It had obviously been recently dug up and there was a rather large group of strange hooded folk who all seemed to be set off by something.  There was also I strange, ugly man-thing that was cloaked in some strange baggy robes that appeared about 15 sizes to big.  Our young heroes, who had no idea what they were getting themselves into, all looked terribly bewildered.

Goku turned to his lover and whispered, "These people look pretty pissy. Do you think we should send someone out to just sneak and get the dragon ball? Or should we wait until they leave?"  Vegeta, apparently having pondered the exact same thing replied, "send your littlest one out."   Persuading Goten to sneak over to retrieve their little treasure was a little more difficult, but after telling him he wouldn't be granted a wish if he didn't go had set him off in a hurry.  Goten, much younger then everyone else, was still rather large, bigger then Vegeta [but then again, who isn't?] by about 5 inches, but managed to squeeze his way through some rather gnarly bushes over heard some strange things coming from the cloaked figures. 

"What s-shall we do now my Lord?  The boy will have told e-everyo-one what h-has just ha-appened." whimpered one of the shorter, plumpier of the crowd.  Goten was shocked when instead of hearing a normal voice reply he hear something much like a snake, the voice hissed "Silence you fool.  Of course Potter has told Dumbledor what has happened here, but we now have other things we have to worry about.  You fools you have not bothered to keep your voices down, we not have a visitor.  Nott!" The hissing man commanded, "Go to my fathers grave, you will find a boy with strange hair. How much he has heard, I do not know. Bring him to me." 

Goten was found immediately and grabbed by a rather bulky hand, _very unattractive _he thought as he was plopped not-so-gently in front of the ugly, skinny man-thing.  "How much have you heard, boy.  Speak up, I, Lord Voldimort, have much more important matters to deal with right now." 

Goten stared for a bit, transfixed with his catlike eyes and nasty Michael Jackson nose [who evidentially had the 4th dragon ball inside his Neverland mansion used as a play thing.] "I, uh, heard something about some Potter kid escaping and how you all are in deep shit now or something…and some Dumbldude knows about something…" Voldimort looked at him skeptically, "Very well," he hissed.  "I see you know nothing to important seeing as how you are clearly a muggle. Lucius, I know how much you enjoy killing muggles, please dispose of this one while I think of what the bloody hell we are going to do with that miserable brat."  Goten looked around as one of the hooded cloaks un-hooded himself.  Long white-blonde hair flew down his robes as he pulled out a thin stick.  Not knowing exactly how his death would come he knew, however, it would happen as he was out numbered, but he wouldn't go with out a struggle, so he easily pulled away from Nott's grip and turned Super Sai-jin.  Lucius was of course thrown to the ground by the about of energy that was released, as well as everyone with in a 20 foot radius, and what happens every time someone turns SSJ the ground some how cracks.  Our hot heroes were quite aware of the energy and figured something went wrong, they all showed up just as Lucius and the others had gotten to their feet.  "What the HELL is going on Goten?? You were supposed to get the dragon ball and leave WITHOUT making—who the hell are these humans?"  Vegeta's question was stopped, the hissing cloak figure said "We are wizards, muggles, and you had best leave or you will regret your decision…actually you wont know to regret it would you, because in death you cannot—".  But the Dark Lords threats were cut short when Vegeta appeared in front Voldimort and punched him in the face.  "VEGETA! Why did you do that?! Come on lets just take the dragon ball and leave! We're sooooooooo close!!!!!"  Goku pleaded. Vegeta, being completely tranquil nodded and pushed his way through the anxious, worried group, one of them sent a curse at Vegeta that hit him in the back, the green light bounced off of him and somewhere up in the sky, three seconds later, a bird fell 5 feet away from him, dead.  The ones cloaked all murmured amongst themselves. "These are no normal humans!" "They did not die at the curse!" "What are they?!"  Vegeta turned around and scratched his back where the curse had reflected off him.  "What the hell was that?  Of course I'm not a filthy _human_, I am a pureblood sai-jin _thank youvery much_, now, leave us alone and we will leave you alone, I am ready for my wishes so I want you all to shut up and, oh how do you humans say it…BUGGER OFF."  With that Vegeta picked up the Dragon Ball and they all left the gloomy scene of rustling cloaked figures all trying to do what they could for the creepy man-thing that was badly hurt.

Goku asked everyone to hold hands as he transported them all to one of the many unnamed deserted places in the world that no one knew existed, but it appeared to be some island that was all desert and mountains, probably 200 square miles.  How convenient.  They all gather in a group before summoning Shen-ron and discussed what they plan on wishing for just not to waist Shen-rons' time. 

Goku: I wish for…well…I think it would defiantly be nice if I could have a tighter ass. Don't you think so Vegeta?

Vegeta: Of course Kakarott.  I think I'll wish for a bigger cock.  5 inches of pure manhood just isn't as fun anymore.

Gohan: What the hell is going on?…oO

Goten: still thinking about the scene at the graveyardI think I am going to wish to become a wizard…I love Harry Potter series…

Piccolo: Well…I am rather lonely, I am one of the only remaining Nameks, and no one I have met is really attracted to green…so I think I am going to with for someone who will love me for who I am.

Krillin: I think I will wish for…hmmmmm…pot. No wait, maybe lots and lots of money…because I could buy pot then…oh hell I'll just get pot and then I can sell what I don't need for money.  Mondo cool.

The group summoned the mighty Shen-ron and about 10 minutes later Shen-ron finally finishes saying "I will grant you each one wish." 

Goku: Howdy Shen-ron!! I wish for a bigger and tighter ass!!!

Shen-ron: Your wish has been granted. [Goku's ass swells up perfectly shaped.]

Vegeta [who is getting excided at the thought of the awesome sex in store for tonight]: I wish for a huge monster cock!! The kind that are as big as the ones on gaymonstercock.com!! Oh and make is extra sensitive wink.

Shen-ron: Your wish has been granted. [Vegeta's spandex pants bulge to massive proportions.]

Gohan [stares at Vegeta's bulge and then procedes to stare at his fathers ass looks at Shen-ron with his mouth open]: I wish…that…um….I WISH VIDEL WAS A GUY!

[Goku's, Vegeta's, Krillin's and Goten's mouths drop] Shen-ron: Your wish has been granted. [Far off in Videl's and Gohan's bed, where she lay, Videl changes into a male.]

Goten: I wish that I were a wizard like in the Harry Potter novels!!!!!!

Shen-ron: Your wish has been granted [Goten sprouts a wand and somewhere far away a owl baring a letter of acceptance flies towards this unknown island bearing a Hogwarts crest.]

Piccolo: I WISH FOR A LOVER!!! SOMEONE WHO LOVES ME FOR WHO I AM!! Oh, and could you please make them…Namek too?

Shen-ron: Your wish has been granted. [A Namek boy about 3'7" pops out of thin air and wraps his arms around Piccolo and stuffs his head into his groin area] "What?!?!" Piccolo cried, "Oh, hell…I love you little man!!!"

Krillin: I am so excited!! Shen-ron! I wish for a shit load of pot!!!

Shen-ron: Your wish has been granted. [Krillin leaps into a mountain of pot screaming "MINE MINE MINE ALLLLL MINE!!!"] My job here is done. Good-bye. 

The group waves to Shen-ron as he disappears and all the balls zoom off to different areas of the world.

"So, Kakarott, what do you think of my new and improved penis?"

"I think it looks pretty damn good to me!! But it's so big! What if it hurts me?"

"That's the point! My super sensitive cock is ready for action, lets go to my place."

The happy couple leave to go to their shag pad and…shag.

"I must leave to my house also. I have a special MALE someone waiting for me in my bed!!! Fiiiiiinally" Gohan flies north to his home with Videl.

Goten looks at the owl that has just arrived at his feet. And starts to cry as he opens it. "This is a dream come true! I love you Hogwarts!!" Goten flies off practicing his English accent towards Scotland.

Piccolo and his new friend start to…get to know each other, who knew that Piccolo was a child molester?

Krillin spent the rest of his night swimming in his mountain of pot until he passed out from eating 7 pounds of it.

And everyone eventually went home happier.

Fin.

**A/n #2**: I know that all my time periods are messed up, but were just gunna pretend that this takes place in the 2000's.  Thanks for reading. 33 Review!!


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